Bright Light
It wasn’t his first bad diagnosis. In 1959, Scott was born with a congenital heart defect called Tetralogy of Fallot. As a toddler, it caused him to squat down, struggling to get enough oxygenated blood to his heart, as his lips would turn a bluish color. He was what they called a “blue baby”. Google it and you’ll find out what Scott was born with. He was in and out of hospitals a LOT when he was a child. Yet providentially he was born at a time when these corrective surgeries were first being developed and successfully performed. When I first met him he had already had a total of 4 open-heart surgeries and was living with the “tick-tock” of an artificial valve. If he had been born just 10-15 years earlier, he would not have made it to adulthood.

Yet despite this, his life was marked by joy, optimism, and thankfulness. Maybe it was due to these earlier trials; maybe it was due to his innate wiring; or maybe due to his abiding faith in God….. maybe it was a combination of all these things…. but he was indeed thankful. I threw him a party for his 40th b-day. It was a “rocket” party as he was into all things space travel and Apollo missions. (He even had a 7 foot rocket he built from a kit that he loved shooting into the sky.) Anyway, prior to his birthday, I ran across those awful “black balloon” decorations at the party store and so I decided to ask him, “How do you really feel? Are you a little depressed reaching the big 4-0?” He quickly replied, “Oh, no, I’m just thankful I made it this far!” And he was!

Even with his 2nd bad diagnosis, (of CJD) he was optimistic and thankful, holding to his faith with great anticipation. It tempered my grief and passed to me the baton of hope and trust. I believe it had a huge role in how I grieved. That short time in hospice was strangely filled with light and hope, not darkness and despair. We all got glimpses of heaven, glimpses of glory in that room. There was even a birthday party as Luke, our oldest, would be turning 10 the next day and he wanted to “reach double digits with his dad still here.” My friends quickly gathered decorations and cake and presents for a party. Music and singing filled the room,as a piano was rolled in and a friend played a rousing rendition of the birthday song – such that the nurses came in to scold us for all the noise…”PLEASE be quiet, there are people dying in here!!” (as if we weren’t fully aware of that fact!) But I’m sure Scott was pleased, and the surrounding “Star Wars” decorations were fitting not only for a 10 year old’s birthday, but for Scott’s send off as well. The next day, Luke’s actual birthday, Scott “rocketed” away, arriving “home.”

He was indeed a bright light…a shooting star… rocket man. Or like he said to me a week earlier, recalling a line from one of our favorite movies we watched as a family, Toy Story; “I’m falling, I’m falling with style.” Oh Scott – there was no doubt about that!

Bright Light

We were standing on the edge of a portal.

We were holding your hand as you slipped

and skipped away

We could almost hear laughter & the joy of coming home

As we wiped our tears away.

There was such a sweet anticipation –

The father’s love – was beaming in your eyes

Amazing to see – faith in revelry

somehow you were ready for the ride….

and as we sang you to the other side,

You were such a bright light – in such a dark place

There was such a deep hope that we all could taste

And there was sweet sorrow – as we said “goodbye”

And though it seemed like you were leaving…

you really had just arrived!

Something most unusual happened in that room

The light of hope & grace chased away the gloom

The veil was so thin – we could almost see Heaven!

We were “oh so not alone”

as you went racing toward the Throne.

It was a strange place for wonderful –

Yet in sorrow – there was glory everywhere.

It was a strange place for beautiful –

but it was just a glimpse of what you now see there…